Things to teach my children.

I found this file while going through my flash drive just now. I wanted to share it.

At this point in my life, I have no intention on ever having kids. It’s just so much of an impossibility at the moment that I find it senseless to think about. But if I ever did, these are some of the things I’d like to pass along.


If you are looking for people to invest in, especially if you are anxious and cautious of new relationships, ask how they feel about abandoned buildings. Exteriors overgrown with ivy and kudzu, masonry crumbling and windows broken. Interiors flooded from leaky roofs, wallpaper peeling, debris strewn across earth where there were once floors. A majority of people would call for a razing, to bulldoze and start fresh on new foundations. The ones who see past the dirt and the grime, underneath the trailing vines that work away at the mortar, and see the marble, the hardwood, see the silk drapes insect-ravaged and mildewed, and choose to start from there, to repair instead of to rebuild, those are the people who are worth it. Those are the people you keep.

Never trust boys who are named after angels. They will be far too busy saving the rest of the world to save you. Do not study holy books in an attempt to understand them. Unless they answer your prayers, do not waste time kneeling at your bedside asking for them.

Do not ever think that you do not make a difference, or that you do not matter. You are matter, and simply by existing you change the state of the universe. The butterfly effect may not be plausible but you cannot discount the effect of kindness on a desperate world.

Writing love poems to celebrities and strangers and fictional characters and people you think you love as a teenager is easy. Writing love poems to people who actually matter to you is really, really hard.

When you think about having children someday, and trust me, you will – maybe not in a capacity of “when” but definitely in a capacity of “if” – it will be terrifying. It’s supposed to be. If it ever stops being terrifying, reevaluate.

Remember that everyone has challenges, and that almost everyone is their own nemesis. There will be times that you are treated poorly. There will be times that you will be angry about it. But most of the time it will not be about you. Most of the time it will be about the other person. Have perspective. Be kind. Don’t let their problems become your own.

Seventy-five percent of communication is non-verbal, so even if someone doesn’t tell you that they love you, that doesn’t mean they don’t. Look for it in small things instead. Look for it in their remembering how you take your coffee, or starting your car while you’re in the shower before you have to leave for work. Look for it in their picking up the tab at dinner, or texting you when their plane lands. Look for it in their demanding that you go to the doctor even when you’re sure it’s just a cold. Look for it in the way their hands linger on your skin just a second too long before they say goodbye. If you open your eyes instead of just your ears, you’ll see it.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s